Supreme Deer Hunting:

At 1:45 p.m, Eastern time, Abigail Strbjak reached a new personal high score of 8,600 points while playing Supreme Deer Hunter via Facebook.

Abigail "Abby" Strbjak was born and raised in Indianapolis, Indiana. To her misfortune, she and her family moved to Huron, Ohio at the start of Abby's sophomore year of high school. This, inevitably, turned poor Abby, a cheerleader at the time, into an alcoholic at the alarmingly young age of seventeen. Her mother Sheryl immediately put her into the care of a rehabilitation center in the back woods of West Virginia where her main hobbies were hunting and gathering. At first, Abby was only interested in small game (i.e. quail, squirrels, rabbits, etc.) until one day when she accidentally shot a deer in the ass while trying to kill a duck. Shooting this deer's ass gave Abby an extreme high- similar to the feeling she would get while drinking. It was then she decided that killing deer was her anti-alcohol. This continued for another five months until Abby was finally released from rehab and came back to Huron. At first Abby tried hunting deer while in Huron, but found it to be extremely difficult.

A few years later, Abby was introduced to the "Supreme Deer Hunting" app on Facebook. And the rest is history.

Abigail Strbjak currently lives in Akron while she poses as a college student for her parent's sake.*

*You're Welcome.

jon and kate: which one do we really hate?

I am an avid fan of Jon and Kate Plus 8. And by avid fan, I mean that I know all of the 8's names. I know that Aiden loves animals, that Maddy is a bitch 98.5% of the show, and that Cara might as well be a lesbian. I also know that all of the sextuplet girls' middle-names have some religious connotation. Thats dedication, my friends. Dedication and boredom for the most part. But in all honesty, I really do love watching it. Which is shocking on several levels but mainly because I truly hate all children under the age of 18.

And although I am a big fan, the people who aren't quite as familiar with the show still know that Kate has been a massive ass bitch throughout the entire series. Just seeing the previews for Jon and Kate Plus 8 is enough to make you want to kick Kate's blonde ass. I am surprised that Jon and Kate didn't get divorced sooner. I do not know how that man survived living in a house with that woman for over a 12 hour period, much less a decade. Good Lord. Never.

However now the tables have turned, because the media have opened a can a wup-ass on Jon and his army of skanks. Now, I have always loved Jon from the beginning because I really do think Jon is a good man and loving father (plus, he's a hot Asian- there is nothing better). I pity him though. I pity both of them actually. They were both dealt a piece of shit when she became pregnant with the sextuplets (that's what happens when you're on fertility drugs, kiddies!). Jon is very young, I think. He is two years younger than Kate. He is only 32 years-old and the man has eight kids that he is responsible for. You're probably thinking "Well they're Kate's responsibility too"- and yes, they are but the media isn't making Kate out to be a huge douche bag like they are Jon. Kate's on the fucking View now- she has pretty much come from being on the D-List to being an A-Lister just because Jon has found another woman (even though she is a gross slut- just saying).

The ultimate question here is "Who do we hate more"? It's such a tough call because while I do love Jon, he is acting like a tool now days and feel almost slightly bad for Kate. Then again, I have hated Kate for five seasons...

It's a very tough call.

disgusting

If you've ever been on the cta in Chicago then you know how disgusting it is already. It smells like cat piss and the people on it are always frightening. Maybe it's the fluorescent lighting or maybe they really are horrifying but nevertheless, yikes. Any who- even with all of these scary humans on the train, the only true way to guarantee a seat by yourself is if you're sick. If you have a very convincing cough or maybe a sneezing spell next to someone, forget it. They're out of there faster than (insert dumb cliche here). Chicagoans (and let's face it, all of America, and probably Canada as well) are scared shitless of the impending Swine Flu. And let me make one thing very clear here: Columbia does NOT offer a free flu shot to students, although we pay how much to attend this school? And how much of that goes to the health clinic? Yeah. Let's get on this Columbia. Anyways...

I have been sick for probably the last week and a half. I've gotten slightly better but have developed a really disgusting, phlegmy cough. It truly is horrible. It grosses me out when I do it so I can't even imagine what other people think of me when I'm doing it. So, I was on my way to Wicker Park and I was taking the blue line, which was cluster-fuck with people. Literally the entire train was packed to the walls with people. Ironically, I found a seat next to this pretty healthy looking person who seemed not to mind that a young, normal (almost), college student was sitting next to him. All of a sudden, I feel a very nasty, strong, phlegm-filled cough coming on. I tried to muffle it. There was no way. It came out as loud as a fog horn and attracted the attention of every person within a 3 foot radius (which was actually probably like 29 people- the train? packed). Then, before I know it, there was a shift of human mass and I look around- very large open space lay next to me. At first I was very sad. The healthy man next to me turned towards the window (it was an underground train, not the best view) and wouldn't even show his cheek my direction. Even the annoying guy, whom earlier was talking about how dumb Mama's Family is, stopped talking as to not take in any germ infested air from my cough. This is blasphemy, I thought to myself while sitting silently, not coughing, and frowning. But then I realized my feet had plenty of room now!

Yayy!

End.

Think about it.

So I ended up dropping one of my classes and adding a new one (although the professor of my original class was deliciously hot, very much so)- anyways, this new class I picked up is taught by the greatest man I have ever had the pleasure to meet, Jose Lopez. He is my hero. Jose is a very tiny, older Puerto Rican man. He reminds me a shit ton of my Grandpa Volz, who, by reputation, is the cutest old man to ever exist in the natural world. So, pretty much, if you remind me of my Grandpa, I automatically love you unconditionally. Anyways (again), ironically Jose hadn't been at the first two classes that I missed because he was sick. Score for me! But sad for Jose. So the first class I was in was also his first class too. I cannot tell you how happy I am that I didn't miss Jose's first lecture to the class because it was so, not to be cliche, but it was so profound. I swear, Jose could write a book about all of his theories and it would be a New York Times bestseller. No doubt. Right when we sat down he asked us to say the first thing that came into our minds when he said "Grammar School". All of us kind of laughed and looked around but honestly, no one could think of anything. Maybe it was because we were all on the spot or maybe it was because we were proving Jose's theory on grammar school correct. But finally, someone said "boys and girls", then someone else said "recess". Not one person said anything about academics. Okay, that's a lie, some annoying girl said "math" or "learning" or something annoying like that. I don't count her in this. I don't think Jose did either. She was an outlier. After we all stopped nervously giggling and shit, Jose told us his theory on grammar school. He said that he can guarantee that if we took a test over all of the things we learned in grammar school (grammar school? elementary school-) that almost all of us would fail. This is because all we learned in elementary school was how to socialize. Jose didn't mean this in a bitchy way to make us feel like all we do is talk. He meant it in the sense that elementary school is not worth even attending. Then Jose pointed out another theory of his. He asked us, "If I was talking to your 5 year-old self, and I asked if you knew how to dance, paint, sing, what would you have said?" We all said that we'd have said yes we could do all of those things. Precisely. Jose's theory is that as we go through our schooling, we become domesticated. Like animals. We are told that we can't dance well, sing harmoniously, or paint beautiful pictures, via the opinions of our teachers. However, why the hell did we give elementary and middle school teachers so much authority and professional opinion on how we created our art? It's not like these teachers were anything more than drunk/ripped, college-grad townies (well, for Huron students anyways). Teachers were really the ones that destroyed our creative selves. But, the teachers can't take all the blame. Jose also thinks that some parents do it too. I don't care how "liberal" of a parent you think you might be. If you have ever told your kid "no", you have stunted their creative growth in some way. Let's be honest though, you can't let your kids do whatever they want all of the time. However, you can let them learn on their own, or learn the hard way. Such as, if you guide your kid by telling them not to play in the street and let them know the consequences of playing in the street and they still do it, then it's their fault if they get hurt. You simply are there to guide them. Help them along. Not to stunt their growth.

Jose had some other good theories throughout his lecture, but that one definitely struck a chord with me. I don't particularly know why. I have never felt that my parents have ever stunted my creativeness. At the least they've always encouraged my sister, brother and I to follow our dreams. I guess the elementary school theory slightly applies, however I don't even think our teachers in Huron care enough about the students to stunt them creatively. They need to get their heads out of their asses and actually teach them something.

I'm so glad I'm done with the Huron City School System.

This blog took an odd turn at the end. But I mean every word.

fake drunks; frunks

Maybe it's just me, but I personally have no idea why some people like to pretend that they're drunk. If you have one drink, I don't care who you are, how big or small you are, how old you are, you are not going to be drunk. You just won't. End of story. It's one thing if you are a "happy" drunk while you're pretending to be drunk, but it is certainly another when you are a "depressed" drunk. Depressed drunks are so god awful (Depressed frunks are worse). I really can't stand depressed drunks. They make me want to gouge their eyeballs out. I mean, Jesus, if you know that you get sad while drinking- DON'T DRINK. It's not worth it. I don't care if it's a "social thing", if drinking doesn't make you feel better, then please don't do it, you annoying, depressed drunks.

I especially hate depressed frunks. Even more so, the frunks that hang out in my apartment that pretty much "pass out" on the love seat and when leaving, start to sob uncontrollably in the hallway. We have RAs people! Good Lord.

Final thoughts: Don't come to our apartment again please, Frunk. You know who you are.

respect your elders.

I was taught to always respect my elders. And for 19 years I have always respected my elders. However, when elders disrespect you, does the said still apply?

Elderly people are so polar. Some are sweet and mild. They accept you and your bad traits. While some are just rude assholes that everyone (including their family) want to punch in the back of the head. And really? You can never tell from outward appearances which type they will be.

If you tell me I shouldn't swear in my own apartment, that I pay $12,000 a year to live in, I'm not going to respect you. I don't care how old you are. I get that you don't want to hear me say "ass" but it isn't as if you've never heard someone say the word ass before. Technically, as an adult and a free-speaking human being for that matter, I can say whatever the hell I want to say. Especially in my apartment.

I have never swore in front of my grandparents. But even if I did, they wouldn't make me filter my words or thoughts. I'm sure they wouldn't approve of it of course. They don't want to witness their 19 year-old granddaughter swearing. I understand that and respect it. What I don't understand or respect is someone (I have only met twice, by the way) coming into my home and telling me to stop speaking freely. If I want to say fuck, I will say fuck and you will have no opinion on it.